During the past two weeks of lectures, the discussion on the definitions of sex and gender have been contemplated by our class. These definitions are not standardized and do not mean the same things to everyone (these definitions vary based on religious beliefs, culture, race, etc) but, as a class, we attempted to create some definitions we thought might be better. I reflected on these definitions and acknowledged that they are biased to our time in history and to our location/occupation in society (2023 and students at the University of Chicago). This got me thinking about how different these definitions would be within the culture I identify with, which is being a Mexican American from a rural town. In this blog, the focus will be on the definition of gender and what gender means from my experience in a rural Mexican-American immigrant community.
Gender in many Mexican communities is seen from a very biological perspective (and means the same thing as sex) which enforces only two categories: male and female. Based on these two categories (either male or female) a plethora of assumptions are/can be drawn about a person. There are expectations on how to act based on the assumption of your gender.
Speaking from my own personal experience, the assumption of your gender (within a Mexican community) assigns you roles that fit in with your (presumed) gender. For women, this would include cleaning, cooking, raising children, looking after their husbands, and being an obedient and complacent wife. For men, this would look like being the economic provider, the head of the household (his word is the supreme law), working a job, and being more aggressive and strong physically and personality-wise as well.
It is hard to break out of these assigned gender stereotypes within the Mexican community. One of the reasons is that these roles are still very popular within Mexican communities and are reinforced with the positive reactions they receive when they are being followed. Some specific examples are popular and trending Tik Tok videos that are shown to young teenagers and adults that continue this cycle of performing these assigned roles based on your gender. These Tik Tok videos can be seen encouraging young girls to play into traditional women roles in Mexican culture.
This specific video states that men should date Latinas because they will receive a “girlfriend, mom, nurse, free massages, chef…” (Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8rrR2KK/). This specific video helps emphasize the connection between culture/race and the idea of gender. The idea that a Latina, which is a term used to referring to a woman of a Latin American country, will fulfill these needs for a man stems from gender perception and stereotypes engrained in Mexican (and other Hispanic/Latino) cultures.
I did not necessarily need to stumble across this particular video to know this, seeing as I have been surrounded by this behavior my whole life. A personal example would be going to family events/gatherings or to a family reunion and having older aunts get upset with a younger woman in the family because the younger woman allowed her significant other to serve himself a plate of food.
The idea of a man serving himself his own plate of food is seen as disrespectful to the man because he ‘should be tended to by a woman’. This directly correlates to the assumption that the woman should have been the person to cook the food in the first place. The woman cooks the food for the man and has to serve it to him and, then of course, clean up after him when he is done eating.
Videos like these https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8rrg8Rs/ (video of a woman giving lunch/meal ideas for their husbands) can be seen romanticizing these roles and the comments on these videos are often young women who feel inspired to be a good wife as well. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this type of online content or lifestyle, but it can be seen as a good example of these women playing into these typical roles assigned to their gender.
One potential danger that can arise from this traditional Mexican way of living is the potential of machista behavior. According to the National Institutes of Health, machismo can be defined as “Machismo encompasses positive and negative aspects of masculinity, including bravery, honor, dominance, aggression, sexism, sexual prowess, and reserved emotions, among others (Mirandé, 1977; Niemann, 2004)”. https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=571622291&q=machismo+behavior&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjt7Jaa-uSBAxX5j4kEHfPlC5EQ7xYoAHoECAcQAQ&biw=1440&bih=783&dpr=2
Machismo can be dangerous because it can be defended by some as a ‘part of being a man’. That the negative aspects are also part of being a man in Mexican culture. The mistreatment of women may be defended by some of the older generations in this society because of this way of thinking, the man can do as he wants and as he pleases.
Younger generations of people that form the Mexican community have started to tackle and reject these stereotypes. As can be seen in this video the woman is having her husband help her clean instead of her cleaning by herself, and he also looks happy to be helping. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8rrfvbm/ This is not only an online phenomenon, seeing as I have seen the change of a more equal and less gender-influenced way of co-living of younger couples in my community. For example, my brother loves cooking for his wife and won’t let her cook for herself even if it is frowned upon by our family members.
Therefore, the assumptions of gender in Mexican culture enable the enforcement of gender stereotypes within our community. I think it is important as a community to expand our knowledge on gender, which could start with acknowledging more than just male and female as genders. Also, by expanding what gender means to us as a community and how we can effectively unravel gender stereotypes from our culture/customs to be more inclusive for future generations.
Being from a Taiwanese/Chinese background, I grew up as a western oriented child stuck in a traditional patriarchal family, where my dad and grandpa reigned the family and my mom and grandma run around like maids catering to their needs. I especially feel this in family functions as well. I, as an older daughter, am obligated to be a “third mother figure” in addition to my mom and grandma, even when I was just a child, to men who are older than me. I had to help serve them, help clean up, be at their beck and call, and be criticized by my grandma when I’m not helping enough. I think these traditional patriarchal family traits seem to be more prevalent in cultures that value the family structure more, like Mexican and Taiwanese culture, because older extended family are often more “traditional” and more hell bent on enforcing these traditions. Therefore, I think it’s really important that younger generations are able to interpret the problems the family structure and make sure that the cycles of abuse within the family don’t persist.
Turkey is also extremely patriarchal. However, I was luck enough to grow up with a mom who never let me see the gender normative roles in my society. Cleaning, cooking, shopping… everything was a collective group activity. We have this term in Turkish called “imece.” It means doing work as a family, helping one another, effectively. However, this term is a very old fashioned term that can only be applied to rural area living, where people need to harvest or process together to get prepared for the winter. I feel like my mom managed to adapt that system to our modern Turkey, city life. However, what I want to mention is, growing up in this progressive bubble, I had the upmost shock when I started visiting my friends’ households and see that things don’t work in their households exactly the same way they work in ours. As you mentioned, even though my friends were aware of the forced upon gender roles, either due to societal conformity or fear of rejection, they played along. The table has to be set up by the “girls” of the house and the cooking must be done by the “women.” You can often see the “men” of the house sitting in the living room, watching the news etc. Even though, as you mentioned, people “have started to tackle and reject these stereotypes,” I think it will take some time until people don’t feel like rule breakers or rebels while doing these types of gender bending (in normative sense).
Traditional Indian culture has these sorts of heavy gender roles for men and women too. While my family is pretty liberal and we’ve lived stateside for about two decades, I have seen that typically, Indian women are expected to know how to do everything from a young age, and they have to take care of their husbands who aren’t taught even basic skills like how to cook or clean. It’s only been recently that folks have been liberalizing, and generally this loosening of gender roles is more seen in big cities like the one that I’m in than in rural areas. I hope that in the near future, society can change to stop expecting women to do everything haha.