To Be in the Best Time to Be A Woman

To get out of bed with a new, red blemish on my chin. To go to the mirror. To be frustrated. To open my make-up bag. To hold up my concealer. To decide it’s better for my skin to let it breathe. To put on eye liner because I still want to distract from the pimple a little bit. To put on jeans and a sweater. To put on flat-bottomed shoes. To lock the door tight. To walk and only look over my shoulder once. To go to a café. To smile at the barista. To receive a smile and nothing else in return. To order a decaf, oat-milk latte. To find a comfy chair. To pull out my laptop and do work for my boss. To hear a shout: Does anyone have a tampon? To turn my body to the inquiring woman and smile knowingly. To glance around and see other women also smile. To glance around and not see any men get angry. To let out the tiniest exhale. To say: Sure, here you go.

To walk into the ivy-covered building. To get lost. To take the elevator to a floor I should have walked to. To get lost again. To knock on the door. To worry about smudging the prestigious glass window that apparently is the door. To walk in. To sit down. To pull out my laptop. To say: Oh sorry, should I get the door? To see his brow furrow. To hear: Close it to your comfort level. To be very, very confused. To have no time to figure out this riddle. To stand up unsteadily. To close the door halfway because the truth is always somewhere in the middle. To look back for affirmation. To receive no eye contact. To sit down and pull out my laptop again.

To put on my favorite red lipstick. To put on my favorite red top. To have a glass of my favorite red wine. To laugh with my friends. To feel lightheaded, bubbly, tipsy. To explain my friend John that this is a girls night. To bounce into an Uber or Lyft or taxi. To see the lights blaze by. To feel liberated. To tune into the driver’s voice because she’s asking: Where are you ladies off to tonight? To giggle and not worry about the sound. To stand in line at the club. To get the front. To fish out my ID. To be enveloped in the side embrace of an arm that I do not know. To smell cologne. To hear: Let’s get these girls inside, they’re barely wearing any clothes. To hear: You don’t need to pay a thing, honey. To put my money away. To take my friend’s hand. To walk away into the pulsating lights.  To not look back.

Process Notes:

I really liked this assignment because I think it forced me to pay more attention to the little details of ordinary life. I think that when I write, I tend to focus on the big dramatic moments, and it was really helpful to challenge myself to think about the little moments that happen each day that are equally valuable. It also made me think about how to use those little moments to be more poignant in my social commentary.